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Joke of the Day

"Top Joke in Scotland I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"*rubs lamp* *genie comes out* You get 3 wishes. Just no wishing for more wishes. ""I wish for more genies."" I SAID NO WI- oooh, you're good."

"Money doesn't grow on trees unless you are a pot dealer"

"No beer or Snacks?!? WORST. PARTY. EVER. Family: uh...this is an Intervention Me: LAME, look, Grandmas so bored she's crying"

"They say that money can't buy happiness, give me 100 dollars & watch me smile "

"The free internet services I use the least are the ones that email me the most often to tell me how useful they are."

"I'm not trying to be racist but black people are darker than white people."

"Got fat from going to auctions every day. yep, it's more bid obesity!!!"

"Do you know how to get a witch pregnant..... You fuck her"

"Have you heard about the new female doctor who can cure illness with all natural, homeopathic remedies? Look her up! She just goes by the name, ""Miss Information"" Edit: source - South Park"