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Joke of the Day

"Is this one haunted? ""No"" What about that one? ""Ma'am, none of the booze is haunted"" What kind of wine and spirits store is this?!"

"There's a job in the paper for a park litter attendant. Experience is not necessary, you just pick it up as you go along."

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't Budget<drops mic> Ironically I'm an Accountant and have Chron's so this is not my problem."

"Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave."

"Catch 22: I bought a protein shake but am not strong enough to twist the cap off."

"Ima dad that got his hairs cut yesterday. I felt a bit lightheaded this morning"

"I heard a great ""This American Life"" podcast about trolling Click bait."

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance..... ..... I'll show him"

"Why are Jews so good in school? They were taught how to concentrate well."

"What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEYE"