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Joke of the Day
"Ima dad that got his hairs cut yesterday. I felt a bit lightheaded this morning"
Next Joke
"Every text from my mom is the most heart breaking thing I've ever read. Until the next text from my mom."
"Just saw a guy riding a skateboard, holding a surfboard. Dunno where he's going but I assume there's Mountain Dew there."
"A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""
"Did you hear about that new Jewish car? It stops on a dime, then picks it up!"
"You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that's older than you."
"I like my women like I like my reality shows... ...Naked and Afraid"
"If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors what do you get? Snippy answers."
"Lew Schneider on Sunblock We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It's SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out."
"The best thing to do with Christmas lights that don't work is put them back in the attic so they can frustrate you again next year."