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Joke of the Day

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance..... ..... I'll show him"

"Q: What do you call a parrot that flew away? A: A polygon!"

"A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. ""Which side is it best to lie on?"" she asked. ""The side that pays your fee"" replied the doctor."

"Her: Hey, what does this dress say to you? *Whirls Around* Me: I'm not in the mood to listen to your clothes right now, I'm drinking!!"

"LOUD PART, quiet part, LOUD PART, quiet part. There, I wrote a symphony. What's the big deal?"

"What's a teenage fish's favorite website? Prawn Hub"

"a photon checks into a hotel... And the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage and he replies, ""no, I'm traveling light."""

"Quick! Everyone on Facebook is at church! Let's go steal all their shit!"

"Fifteen years ago I asked my high school crush out on a date, yesterday I asked her to marry me... ... She said no both times."

"I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice."