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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new British period drama? They're calling it Bloody Hell."

"No one ever said life was easy, but several people said you were."

"Don't blame me. You're the one following a 32 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters."

"A man enters a store and says: ""15 litres of wine please."" ""Did you bring a container for this?"" ""You're speaking to it."""

"ATTN: I'm looking for a new girlfriend Are you: 1. Between the age of 11-69? 2. Mostly female? 3. Trained to poop outside? DM for details"

"Frozen Window Wife texts her husband ""Windows Frozen, what do I do?"" Husband texts back ""pour some lukewarm water over it"" Wife replies ""Gee, thanks. Now computer is totally fucked"""

"Vanilla Ice: if there was a problem, yo I'll solve it... [Guy from back of concert]: why did my dad leave?"

"Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on stage? They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their prime!"

"How does a Muslim get a hot date? He puts it in the microwave. EDIT: Looks like you guys are real dim...."

"Have you heard the me neither joke? Me neither."