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Joke of the Day

"Those black cats better not cross my path. I'm not superstitious. Just racist."

"*shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I've been conditioning a lot for this race"

"skippin the intro of a game and then realizin you have no idea what the objectives are just walking round aimlessly hoping something pops up"

"If someone tries to shoot the President... The Secret Service will have to yell ""Donald duck!"""

"Knock knock! (Who's there?) Not Abe Vigoda."

"She said she hates my analogies and wishes I would communicate like a normal person, but that's like telling a samurai not to use his sword"

"The World's Shortest Joke Two women were sitting quietly."

"Why wasn't Jesus any good at math? Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition."

"I heard that the cemetery is pretty popular.. Everyone's dying to get in."

"I was talking to my Irish mate about Brad Pitt's films, but I could not remember the name of that historical Greek film he was in..... ""Troy."" he said, suddenly. ""I am."" I replied. ""Give me a minute"""