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Joke of the Day

"Authorities in Beijing have advised that the Earthquake felt by millions last night was nothing to worry about. It was just the start of China's two-child policy."

Next Joke
 
"Just seen a woman in town with lipgloss so sticky she had 16 flies attached to her mouth."
"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? They weren't born yesterday."
"If jerk chicken could talk, what would it say? ""Fuck-ooooff, fuck-ooooff, FUCK-OFF!!!"""
"My wife is weird... She begins every conversation with ""Were you even listening to me?"""
"""Spirits, are you there?"" [ouija board] IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT ""Damn it, we've held a seaonce again!"""
"Ninja level hiding skills! Why do you never see Hippos hiding up in trees?? Because they are so darn good at it."
"I'm thinking about getting a Prince Albert... Do you have any tips?"
"Nice guys don't finish last, fat guys do."
"A woman is like a delicate, Spring flower... ...I have really bad seasonal allergies, so I just tend to get my fix by looking at pictures of them online."