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Joke of the Day

"""Spirits, are you there?"" [ouija board] IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT ""Damn it, we've held a seaonce again!"""

"What's the difference between Hitler and Usain bolt? Usain bolt can finish a race."

"I was bitten by a mosquito today. It sucked."

"If the quiz made you a little quizzical, what is the test going to make you? Really fucking confused."

"I don't trust insomniac philosophers... They're up to know good."

"I was in a gang once. We wore blue, traveled in packs, and ruled our turf with shiny instruments...wait. Band. I was in the marching band."

"Why can't animals take tests? Too many cheetahs!!!!"

"There's really no sense in being pessimistic... It's not going to work, anyway."

"What did the thirsty Spanish pirate say? I need some arrrrrrrrrrrgua!"

"I understand why abortion is a touchy subject (NSFW) Because on one hand I'm all for killing babies but I really don't think women should have a choice in the matter"