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Joke of the Day

"What is the definition of a Freudian slip? when you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet."

"How do you eat an Indian taco? Lift her gut."

"General: Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy? Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir."

"Thanks phone, for being strong every time I dropped you."

"I'll have a Venti Vodka please."

"What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? There's only one Bender in Futurama"

"My wife asked if I was coming to our daughter's dance recital... I was, but I paused the video, pulled up my pants, and denied it."

"I was quite surprised to learn that there are 47 ways to spell..... Prime Minister Netanyahu."

"Whoa, calm down, person actually swimming in the swimming pool."

"American Politics That's it, that's the joke"