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Joke of the Day

"A riddle Who's got orange skin, poor speaking skills, is overwhelmingly disliked and is in over his head? Yeah, I know, too easy right? It's Jar Jar Binks"

"If I ever saw an amputee being hanged, I'd just yell out letters. - Demetri Martin"

"We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately."

"I love when football players put their t-shirts over their shoulder pads because they look like business women from the 80s."

"I'd do a joke about amphibians. But they've all been toad."

"I bought a racehorse today and I named him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, ""Come on My Face."""

"""Dear Gillette, 5 blades on the Fusion is enough, chill out."" -Seal"

"My wife lost 200 lbs! I divorced her."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't fuckin know, maybe if you didn't run him over we could ask him."

"When I die, I hope Bethesda lowers my coffin into the ground. So they can let me down one last time."