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Joke of the Day

"Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles? *hands you a cat*"

"What did one pancake say to the others as it was tossed off the griddle into the air? See you on the flip side."

"The Tea Party is the biggest case of Stockholm Syndrome ever. Poor people rallying to the cause of those keeping them in poverty."

"What did the German clock maker say to the clock that would only go ""tick tick tick?"" Vee have vays of making you tock!"

"Your momma is so stupid That her adult child is still reading and downvoting Yo momma jokes."

"Whoever thought of appetizers was literally like ""we should pregame this food w more food"" and I think that's really beautiful"

"My friend is concerned about his online dating luck... I told him not to worry -- There are plenty of fish in the net!"

"LunchablesTM? huge waste of money! I have my kids mill their own wheat then hunt, kill & field strip a wild bologna"

"Cop: i told you this land is off limits Me: oh i thought you said it was all flimits Cop: wtf are flimits Me: idk let's go look Cop: ok"

"Which U.S Presidents are not buried inside the United States? Carter, the Bushes, Clinton, and Barry-O"