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Joke of the Day

"The Tea Party is the biggest case of Stockholm Syndrome ever. Poor people rallying to the cause of those keeping them in poverty."

"I love drowning... It just takes my breath away."

"cop: why'd you kill him? me: I was trying to count something and he kept shouting random numbers cop: ugh hate that you're free to go"

"What's the difference in a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a Garbanzo bean on my face before."

"You know what I find odd? Every other number"

"Why doesn't anyone put the whole football on their mouth like a pelican and pretend they don't have it"

"When a blonde goes to London on a plane how can you steal her window seat ? Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row"

"Why does ""new and improved"" always end up ""expensive and shitty""?"

"Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince."

"I've done a few things I've been ashamed of, but at least I never played FarmVille."