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Joke of the Day

"LunchablesTM? huge waste of money! I have my kids mill their own wheat then hunt, kill & field strip a wild bologna"

"my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner"

"If my cat smoked weed it would be Meowi Wowee"

"I remember when I was young and dad used to play ""Got Your Nose"". It was far less traumatic than Uncle Carl's game of ""Got Your Weiner""."

"How does the basis of all TIFU's start.... by doing what you see on reddit."

"Mrs Smith the biology teacher was very fond of fish. She was also rather deaf which was great for the children in her class. ""What Mrs Smith needs"" said one of her colleagues ""is a herring-aid."""

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"If you don't like your son, grab a football and tell him to go long. Never throw it. He's gone now."

"What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"Why Don't Santa Claus and Misses Claus have children? Because Santa only comes once a year and when he does its down the chimney."