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Joke of the Day

"The TSA just announced they're banning erasers on flights. They're capable of math destruction."

"This tub of margarine doesn't believe it's me."

"Dear bed, I'm SO sorry I left you. I don't know what I was thinking. Please take me back."

"Where do doctors put blood that can't be used because it is too fluorescent? In the haemo glow bin."

"I was highly offended until I realised HR were calling me incompetent and not incontinent."

"What did the unused dough say to the baker? Why don't you knead me?"

"Modern day camping is an uncharged phone."

"What's the loudest economic system? CAPITALISM"

"Why does Dracula have no friends? Because he's a pain in the neck."

"For mother day my mom is going to get the same as always disappointment :("