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Joke of the Day

"Where do doctors put blood that can't be used because it is too fluorescent? In the haemo glow bin."

"How do you make a hormone? You pay her. (This was told at my pharmacy school. We laughed and then felt shame afterwards.)"

"Why is Viagra like Disneyworld? - You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride"

"Being married vs being gay: Either way you're going to have somebody stuck up your ass."

"What's the difference between a car tyre, and 365 condoms? One's a Goodyear, an the other's a great year."

"I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time."

"In British Columbia, why can't you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? Because he wooden like it."

"I came up with this when I was three years old. What do you call an egg that's scared? A chicken egg."

"[politics] I think Trump settled the whole ""tiny hands equals small penis"" argument today... It must take a pretty massive dick to fuck the entire world at once"

"I was born caesarean. You can't really tell, although, whenever I leave the house I go out through the window."