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Joke of the Day

"Where do doctors put blood that can't be used because it is too fluorescent? In the haemo glow bin."

"""Jimmy, why did you bring your cat to school?"" ""Because my dad said 'When Jimmy leaves for school, that pussy is getting smashed!"" Kind of a lame post, but it's my first on the joke thread :/"

"One time I got so nervous when a guy took off his pants in front of me I said ""friggity diggity"" please do not rt"

"What does anal sex and broccoli have in common? If you're forced to try it as a kid.. you probably wont like it as an adult."

"MADOKA MAGICA SPOILERS Why did Tomoe Mami die? She got ahead of herself."

"I would say that a zero with a line through it isn't a number, But it's naught"

"I had a one night stand yesterday..but then today I decided to return it to ikea"

"Are you guys alright? No you are all left."

"What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a mercedes? I don't have a mercedes in my garage!"

"Easiest and quickest way to get me to shut up, open my mouth and get on my knees is to simply make it rain Skittles."