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Joke of the Day

"what do bad sex and the heimlich maneuver have in common? Both start out with lots of excitement, but then everyone is just relieved when its over"

"Dog limps into the O.K. Corral. ""I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw."""

"Condoms were invented by Arabic-Muslims sometime in the 1400s using lower goat intestine They were later improved by the British in 1873 by taking the intestine out of the goat first"

"What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor"

"I was in Ethiopia and I thought I may as well have a threesome... ...you know - two birds, one stone."

"I know who's Batman's real son It's Lil Wayne!"

"Did you hear about the assassin who was given forty years to complete his assignment? He had some time to kill."

"Why did Santa name his penis Conjunction? Because it joins Clauses."

"If we're all Gods children... ...what's so special about Jesus?"

"A woman went to the bar with a black eye. ""How'd ya get that?"" asked the bartender. ""From my husband,"" she replied. ""But I thought he was out of town?"" he asked. ""So did I!"" she said."