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Joke of the Day

"My buddy told me he was having sex with twins... I asked how do you tell them apart? He said, ""Her brother has a mustache"""

"Passengers clapping when my plane lands makes me almost wish we had crashed."

"What did the left nut say to the right nut? That guy above us is a real dick"

"""An unknown plight"" or ""the shortest and worse joke i know"" Pedophiles have trouble fitting in."

"My financial situation is so bad, I'M being sponsored by a child in Africa"

"10 things you didn't know you could do with a selfie stick. 1. *Use selfie stick to stuff rags in your exhaust pipe* 2.*Use selfie stick to beat ppl who have selfie sticks* 3"

"Rule #0 of the Internet: Nothing you put online, even for a second, can ever be taken down. Drink that in and know it."

"I was beating a mouse Then it clicked."

"Why is the sky not happy on clear days? It has the blues"

"Lord give me coffee to change the things I can...and vodka to accept the things I cannot. Amen!"