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Joke of the Day

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares.. But use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger. He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right."

"Aaanndd I've just been peed on. Were I Tila Tequila I'd have met 1 of my New Years resolutions before the clock had even struck midnight"

"Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg and some days you're that guy who hit the propeller on the way down."

"My doctor wrote me a prescription... It writes dailysex but my girlfriend insists it's dyslexia"

"Jesus walks..... Jesus walks into a holiday inn, tosses three nails on the counter and asks, "" Can you put me up for the night?"""

"What do you call 2 Nuns & a Cheerleader? 2 Tightends & a Wide Reciever"

"Every kiss begins with K but so does every kidnapping. That's how words work people."

"A liar, a murderer, a cheater walk in to a bar... The Patriots must be in town."

"I slashed my Postal Delivery Driver's tires today I wanted to be sure *all* of my last minute packages had flat rate shipping."