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Joke of the Day
"A turd walks into the doctors office... and says, ""I feel like shit."""
Next Joke
"someone stole my chair! deceitful..."
"Relationships are about compromise. I pretend she's not watching a Gossip Girl boxset. She pretends I'm not digging her grave in the garden."
"By the time you finish reading this tweet, you will be slightly closer to death than you were before. I hope it was worth it."
"My wife asked me to hand her a tube of lipstick, but I mistakenly handed her a tube of Super Glue Now she won't talk to me."
"Role playing didnt go so well last night. She was the hot sexy teacher and I the rebel student..so I ditched class. Cause schools for nerds."
"Do robots have sisters ? No just transistors !"
"1. have a child 2. never mention it on facebook 3. dress it in old-timey clothes and have it stand in the background of all your photos"
"Tell me your best ""When is a --- not a ---?"" joke I'll start you off: When is a door not a door? > When it's ajar! When are eyes not eyes? > When the wind makes them water!"
"Q: What is a four-letter word that ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse? A: Talk"