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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a neolithic taking a walk? A meanderthal"

"Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first."

"Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine."

"Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard? He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills."

"I bring my own pen into the bank because I don't need any god dammed chains telling me where I can and cannot write"

"Hitler was argueably the greatest person that ever lived... I mean he did kill Hitler"

"Hippocrates did very well for himself, considering he was named after cages for a large mammal."

"23 Mind-Blowing Ways You'll Never Get Back the Time Spent Reading This List"

"Maybe your d*ck is so small because half of it is in your personality."

"Fannee Doolee loves sleep, but she doesn't love bedtime. Why do you think that is? Because Fannee Doolee has crippling anxiety, and falling asleep reminds her of her inevitable death."