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Joke of the Day

"Fannee Doolee loves sleep, but she doesn't love bedtime. Why do you think that is? Because Fannee Doolee has crippling anxiety, and falling asleep reminds her of her inevitable death."

"Hey, reddit, what is the most offensive joke you know? I just thought of this one. It should be pretty entertaining!"

"I'm not saying I've let my house get filthy, but this is the second time I've caught my new Roomba trying to mail itself back to the factory"

"What's the difference between the Welland bus terminal and a Lobster with breast implants? One is a busty crustacean, and the other is a crusty bus station."

"There is a guy who lives in my town that holds the record for the most concussions by a human. He actually lives right near me, only a stone's throw away."

"The worst part of kissing a perfect 10.... is how cold the mirror feels on your lips."

"What did the Chinese guy say to his wife after her botched plastic surgery? Honey, why the wrong face?"

"What's the best part about having sex with twenty-one year old's? There's twenty of them."

"What do you get if you have unprotected sex in the ear? Hearing AIDS."

"If I were to ask you out, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one?"