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Joke of the Day

"""2015 AND PETSMART STILL DOESN'T HAVE FITTING ROOMS,"" I say somewhat loudly as Fluffy has to try on sweaters right there in the aisle."

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"What do Godot and my wife have in common? Both are French."
"If you wake up tomorrow with Santa jacking off at your bedside, do not be alarmed. He is giving you a white Christmas"
"I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people... But it needs more work"
"Why is Yoda afraid of 7? Because 9, 7 8."
"I'm not afraid of spiders. I'm afraid of people who are afraid of spiders. Please stop screaming and put down the hammer."
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"Who is Jay Gatsby's favorite superhero? Green Lantern. And his least favorite? Deadpool."
"aesop: man what you did was not cool. like imagine if a fox did what you did to me, and i was a goose. that makes it much clearer right?"
"I told my Chinese friend that I like homemade gifts.... So for Christmas he gave me an iPhone, iPad and an iMac."
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