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Joke of the Day

"I call my bedroom the place where the magic happens' because it's where I make my self-respect disappear."

"I want a rich person to hire me to float around in their pool and feed me bread I want to be a wealthy person's duck"

"I spent a lot of years on ships. I beat off in the shower so much that every time it rains, I get a hard-on."

"Why can't the T-Rex play the piano? Cause they're dead!"

"I hate killing bugs so instead I spend hours trying to get it in a cup so I can toss it outside after accidentally taking off 3 of its legs."

"Why is workplace sex uncommon in local government? Because they are mostly relatives."

"Today I threw a penny down the well and made a wish. That the police would never find her body."

"Police officer: what'd you take, you're sweating, shaking and going crazy.... Perp: nothing sir, just searching for The Lord!"

"Why do you see so many Bernie Posts on r/all? Because supporters of other candidates are out working or voting."

"What's the best thing about blowjob? A moment of silence..."