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Joke of the Day

"If you wake up tomorrow with Santa jacking off at your bedside, do not be alarmed. He is giving you a white Christmas"

"Pimples on teenagers are asterisks on things they say* *Listener discretion is advised"

"I stuck my foot in a honeycomb. I bee tripping."

"Just ran over my neighbors cat. In fairness, though, the damn thing probably thought he was safe when he made it to the porch."

"What's the most annoying joke in the world?"

"Have you heard about the new pirate movie? All the producers have Hook Noses #racistdadjoke"

"How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one? The domesticated doesnt have balls"

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was."

"I don't like lollipop ladies... They make me cross."

"Germany used to have a large French speaking region. It was called France"