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Joke of the Day

"If you wake up tomorrow with Santa jacking off at your bedside, do not be alarmed. He is giving you a white Christmas"

"What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up? Sorry to take so much of your valuable time."

"What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella? The umbrella can be shut up."

" . The joke does not translate."

"""Only a good guy with a forest fire can prevent forest fires"" - Smokey the NRA Bear"

"What will the ""Red Hot Chili Peppers"" become when they die? Ghost Peppers."

"I'm going to kiss every guy I see with a ""Kiss me, I'm Irish"" shirt in hopes that they'll never wear that shirt again."

"My math teacher told me this joke. What do you find on a beach? A tangent."

"Idea for dieting: Fridges with mirrors."

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he's 12"