169457

Joke of the Day

"So my scatterbrained friend accused me of misquoting cliches... Isn't that the pot calling the kettle a racist?!?!"

"What do you call a man who's on fire? Bernie."

"A Dyslexic Devil Worshipper Sold his Soul to Santa."

"After a few days without my phone, I've learned what's really important in life. My phone."

"""DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE GYM, BABY! AGES THREE TO NIIIIINNNNE!"" - Axl Rose, playground monitor."

"Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends."

"The last item on my bucket list is dying. How convenient."

"What is the difference between me and being artistic? The second letter."

"Hey Guinevere *knight flips up his visor* Hast thou considered my proposal? Because *unsheathes blade* I'm sword of a big deal."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints."