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Joke of the Day

"Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer? Because she's probably a keeper."

"Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford? Because he's Indie!"

"I wondered if my wife was asleep so I held my phone a foot over her face and turned it on. Then I dropped it onto her nose. She's awake now."

"A jumper cable walks into a bar... and the bartender says ""I'll serve you but don't start anything"""

"Most people love a good munch box Lunch*"

"Came up with this on a long car ride What's a skeleton's least favorite game? wishbone"

"Gay marriage is finally legal in America today. Finally, all the OP's can get married."

"Men love when you kiss their neck.. Just not when they're driving And you're in the backseat. And they don't know you. Apparently."

"I almost got hit by a car this morning and the scariest part was that my last words would have been ""whoa there chap"""

"A new test was conducted to study how fat Americans are getting; the test results are as follows: 60% are deemed overweight 30% are deemed morbidly obese 10% ate the test"