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Joke of the Day

"If I could pick any super power it would be... echo sound location so I could see with my eye's closed."

"I bet a lot of people have tried that ""See you next year!"" joke at the end of December but got proven wrong by dying in a DUI."

"Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in New England the mail carrier for one neighborhood commeneted on the ""pouring rain."" Well atleast the dew point is coming down!"

"I bought a pig for $100 and named him Moo-Ham-Head, I then sold him for $150. Does that make him a profit?"

"What do black people and bikes have in common? They stop working when you take the chains off"

"I'll never be the girl who walks in the room and commands everyone's attenHEY! Can you at least finish reading this tweet?!"

"A crowd of theater fanatics walk into a bar. They go to the bartender and say, ""One round please."" ""A round of what?"" The bartender asks. ""A round of *applause*!"" They all scream in unison."

"The irony of war is that The ones who are right are the ones left."

"A man walks into a bar with a piece of green tarmac on his head... The landlord says to the rest of the customers: ""Don't talk to him! He's a **cycle path**!"" Ba Dum Tss!"

"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"