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Joke of the Day

"In a touching tribute to Joan Rivers, Target today announced that it would print funny little anecdotes on all of their shopping bags. Just so plastic can make us laugh one more time."

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"Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee."
"Why can't T-Rex's high five? Because they're all dead."
"[marriage counseling] She thinks I make bad decisions ""He hired a clown for my nana's funeral"" PEOPLE NEEDED CHEERING UP, KAREN"
"The United States has such bad luck It's almost as if it was build on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."
"Q: Why do girls like guys who wear shirts with eight buttons? A: They fascinate."
"Being human is OK, but I wish there were alternatives."
"What did the ambitious suicidal person say? I'm going to kill myself, or die trying."
"What is a shoe made out of a Banana called? a slipper! I've been telling this corny ass joke around campus and everyone seems to like it haha."
"I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please. ""Sir, that is a sleeping bag"" *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*"