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Joke of the Day

"Two Irishmen are looking for a job. They come across a sign, that reads, ""Tree Fellers"". Pat and Murphy look at each other and exclaim, ""If only Seamus was here, we would've had the job!"""

Next Joke
 
"A farmer asks the scarecrow if he likes his job ""Well... this job isn't for everyone..."" the scarecrow ponders, ""but hey... it's in my jeans"""
"How do you cure the hiccups? Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice."
"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly a dick in your mouth."
"I feel like I second guess myself too much. But then again I'm not really sure."
"My girlfriend of 3 years has never told me a joke. We are in a serious relationship."
"Why do young girls go to the restroom in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even."
"what do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-oh acid"
"Why did the dog sleep so poorly? By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!"
"I just had the biggest bowel movement of my life then turned around and the toilet was empty. Needless to say I completely lost my shit"