219959

Joke of the Day

"Why is it so hard to find Tylenol in the jungle? Because the parrots eat 'em all. . . . Explanation: Parrots eat 'em all = paracetamol = acetominophen = Tylenol"

"Step 1) Ask mom to come meet your girlfriend. Step 2) Text ""Medusa's excited to meet you."" Step 3) Place statue of yourself on your lawn."

"Two deer walk into a gay bar... 1 hour later they leave and one says to the other, ""damn I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in that place"""

"Text me once, shame on you. Text me twice, congratulations, we are now trapped in an infinite emotional prison."

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years.. ..then we met."

"I asked an atheist ""How do you view homosexuality?"" He replied ""Mostly on pornhub"""

"- Police, open the door. - What do you want? - We just wanna talk. - How many of you are there? - Two. - Well just talk to each other."

"At the end of the day, no one needs to worried about the_donald's large scale of support None of them are old enough to vote anyway."

"Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal."

"Chuck Norris has only farted once. The last time that he did, the universe was created."