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Joke of the Day
"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long for fat people."
Next Joke
"Having kids means you'll have a lot of interrupted conversa--"
"Uh, excuse me, Mr. Swagger, Either walk a little faster or buy a belt. Thanks, homie."
"Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong"
"What's the difference between a paycheck and a D**k? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck."
"Dear XBOX Kinect If I wanted to use my whole body to play sports, I'd play sports."
"Is it 5 seconds from when it hits the floor or when I see it? I just noticed a skittle under my desk. I don't remember eating skittles."
"TOP STORY: Do websites create articles with lists and arbitrary numbers to get you to click through? Here are 15 examples you wont believe"
"What do you say to someone who doesn't like Rick & Morty? I'm going to need you to take your opinions and put'em wayyy up inside your butthole."
"Like if you believe in God. Remember he saw you reading this."