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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when it's NotTheOnion? When they're still running pieces on Hillary Clinton."

"I just put a whole frozen chicken up my arse April fools! It was just a drumstick."

"Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate? It was only allowed one piece of carrion."

"Every time I meet someone new, my girlfriend gets a slap across the face. I really need to stop high-fiving people."

"What's the difference between Jews and Pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven."

"Did you hear about the weightlifter who had a hole-in-one? He paid for the drinks all around with his barbell."

"Did you hear the latest joke about Baltimore? It's a riot"

"Why do we hit things when they don't work? Because it worked with slavery"

"The 2nd grade teacher asked parents to donate supplies for tie dye tshirt day but I'm not sure I can come up with that much weed by Friday."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A very soar arse"