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Joke of the Day
"In Canada , we have two seasons... six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling."
Next Joke
"I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend that I do; I just stand in my room screaming ""That's not what I said!"""
"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."
"I wear a stethoscope, so that in the case of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."
"Why are all the girls in my school dressed up like OP,s mom?"
"What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am? It's your dad."
"i just flew in and boy are my arms tired from jacking off on the plane a whole lot"
"Betsy Ross: ""Let's put some happy little stars in a circle on the flag"" Many years later, an heir of hers, Bob, would say something similar"
"How can I go to sleep when this movie I've seen 70 times just started?"
"[speaking at funeral] Deceased's brother: there's no words to describe the anguish we all feel right now Me: what about 'anguish'?"