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Joke of the Day

"Valentines Day Drinks: $80. Dinner: $75. The room: $250. The look on his face when she says ""I'm on my period"": Priceless."

"In the days before the Internet... did black people watch Cops to see what their family and friends were up to?"

"What did one Redditor say to another? [removed]"

"What do you call sandpaper on fire? Bernie Sanders"

"If I turn the food pyramid upside down it's way easier to eat out of it."

"I wish Benedict Cumberbatch played Q in 007 Then I could call him Benedict ""Q"" Cumberbatch."

"A woman is just like a condom. If she's not on your dick, she's in your wallet."

"I'm not a psycoanalyst... but I metacrazy once."

"I'm no auto mechanic but I'm pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes"

"Wiping your ass is a lot like approaching a traffic light... Red means stop."