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Joke of the Day

"Bad cooking and sex Husband: Your cooking is pretty pathetic despite watching cooking shows on TV. Wife: You watch Porn but do I complain?"

"A lion, a witch, and a wardrobe walk into a bar The bartender asks what they're having. The witch replies ""Narnia business."""

"Currently helping my wife looking for her favourite vase that I threw out six months ago."

"The Smart Kid A child asks his father: - Daddy, where did I get my intelligence from? - From your mother, I think. I still have mine."

"How do you know if a black person used your TV? It's not there anymore."

"[mysterious old lady flips tarot card revealing a dude who looks exactly like me flying a hot air balloon into power lines] Me: is that good"

"My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral."

"[wakes up next to perfectly crocheted sweater with knitting needles in hands] Oh dear god not again"

"*sends signal to space 24/7 that just says Updog* *aliens respond* Alien: Whats Updog? NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything!"