200807

Joke of the Day

"*sends signal to space 24/7 that just says Updog* *aliens respond* Alien: Whats Updog? NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there"

"Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr Dre..."

"Smooth jazz always puts me to sleep... ...must be the mellow tonin'."

"Did you guys hear about the fight in the bathroom? Two bums got wiped"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I'm agnostic. What happens when I die? Idk..."

"What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician? A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3"

"When Michael Jackson's son was born, he asked the doctor, ""How soon can we have sex?"" The doctor replied, ""At least wait till he's 13."""

"Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female... The female egg says ""Oh my, look, I've got a crack"" ""No good telling me"" replies the male egg, ""I'm not even hard yet"""

"I saw a homeless man sleeping and I thought to myself, ""What if you get mugged?"" So just to be safe, I took his guitar."