33432

Joke of the Day

"[date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Wife: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?"

"Why can't gay people play poker? Because they can't keep a straight face."

"After eating four cans of alphabet soup I had a huge vowel movement. Ba-dum tss"

"If your ad has one black person, one white person, one brown person & one Asian person in it, I will not buy your product."

"Melania Trump is so dumb... She couldn't get a degree if her own husband opened a university. (edit: word)"

"My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven't even seen me in bed yet."

"If you fall I will be there - Floor"

"I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane"

"[Office] *Dolphin accidentally dials fax number Fax:EEphkEekakischchEEek Dolphin:Well, I don't normally do this. But yes I'm free tonight"

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your coconuts, this ain't gonna be your average blowjob. As told to me by a passing homeless man yesterday..."