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Joke of the Day

"Melania Trump is so dumb... She couldn't get a degree if her own husband opened a university. (edit: word)"

"Purse dogs... I've heard they're pretty clutch."

"""I'm gonna look to my left and run as fast as I can."" - Toddlers"

"I so want to be in a relationship. I want to account for everything I do. Answer to someone when I come home late. And get dragged over the coals for not calling a hundred times a day."

"An ISIS attack wouldn't do any damage to Chicago What's one more pot hole?"

"My first time having sex was just like my first time riding a bike My dad was holding me from behind."

"What do you call a sinking ship full of condiments? Sinko de Mayo"

"Did anyone else hear about the nasty crash involving a mustang and a t-bird? There was horse shit and feathers everywhere!"

"Surgical operations When you get your tonsils removed: tonsillectomy When you have your appendix removed: appendicectomy When a woman has a sex change: addadictomy"

"what did the biologists call their basketball team? The Hemoglobin-Trotters!"