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Joke of the Day

"""Would you like to import all of your phonebook contacts to your Twitter account...?"" hahahaha yeah, that'll go well"

"What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore."

"FedEx missed me and left a note saying I can pick up my delivery, but joke's on them -- I no longer have the strength to do anything at all"

"Seriously considering ""Have boobs, will travel"" as my new bio for everything. It's a good life."

"My dog hunted down and killed a lizard today... You could say it was his hunting inskinkt."

"How does a black girl know shes pregnant? When all the cotton is picked off her tampon."

"How did they invent break dancing? Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car."

"Why fart and waste it? When you can burp and taste it."

"Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask ""where am I?"" and whatever they say I runaway screaming ""Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"""

"Two mods walk into a bar... [deleted]"