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Joke of the Day

"What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza? Heperoni"

"You know why I love space Murph? you keep gettin older. I stay the same age."

"I saw a boat with a sign that said ""For Sale"" so I added an ""ing"" to the end. Fucking idiots are lucky I came along."

"My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there - so he'd see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey."

"Have you heard the joke about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?"

"What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French revolution? They put their head into it."

"Be Alert The world needs more lerts."

"When friends or family ask me if I'm going to have another baby, I just gesture at the chaos of my life and yell, ""ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"""

"A stoner plumber walks into his dealer's house and asks ""where's the shit at?"""

"Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rustling!"