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Joke of the Day

"When friends or family ask me if I'm going to have another baby, I just gesture at the chaos of my life and yell, ""ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"""

"A mother moth was telling her baby moth off saying ""If you don't eat all your cotton you won't get any satin."""

"Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*"

"All i'm saying is, before Back to the Future 3, he was fine."

"Arrested at the Zoo. I got arrested at the zoo the other day for having sex with a baby gorilla. When I asked the officer what I was being charged with he responded ""Statutory Ape""."

"My Grandfather... My grandfather covered himself in lard a month before his death... After that he went downhill very quickly."

"Before criticising anyone, walk a mile in their shoes because when you do you are a mile away and have their shoes.."

"What's a Jewish girl's favorite wine? ""I want to go to Miami!"""

"share your funniest joke ever (im looking for, dirty, racist, or really funny)"

"Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999. Get a ride home from my Mom after I make out with some 14-year-olds."