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Joke of the Day

"Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said ""Look at that dog with one eye!"" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes ""Where?"""

Next Joke
 
"I finally got my hands on a sign language translator. It comes in really handy."
"The TV's airing the same pressure cooker ad over and over again. It's Torr-turous."
"This is the story of a man named Jack. Jack was, well lets just say he was a repairman. One day while repairing the shingles on a rooftop, Jack got stuck. Will you help Jack off?"
"My grandpa used to say ""Don't do drugs just sell them"""
"*phone rings* Wife: ""Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me (a dad): ""Hello. Yes my wife is here. Hey, Not In. It's for you."" Wife: ""...."""
"What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending."
"Carrot raisin salad. When you want to eat something horrible, 3 times."
"Just passed a cop on a bicycle, I hope I used my turn signal properly or I might get a detention or whatever they hand out"
"What do you call a shitty bungalow? Dungalow."