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Joke of the Day

"This is the story of a man named Jack. Jack was, well lets just say he was a repairman. One day while repairing the shingles on a rooftop, Jack got stuck. Will you help Jack off?"

"[at Indian restaurant] ""Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"" ""Samosa?"" ""Oh no thanks, I'm full"""

"The Klu Lkux Klan... The original boys in the hood..."

"I was absolutely disgusted when a gay guy came on to me at the bar. After kicking his ass out the door, I went for a towel to clean it off."

"How much do you weigh after eating Chinese food? Wonton"

"A Welshman died at the weekend... Friends say he died the way he would have wanted; comfortably in his sheep"

"what do you call a bunny in a kilt? a hopscotch"

"I texted my girlfriend ""I love you"" and she texted back ""I love you more. When I went to respond I made a typo and sent ""I love you moist""....I figured why correct it, it's true too."

"What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole? A ten foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone."

"A guy asked my girlfriend ""Who would win a fight between a taco and a hotdog?"" ... so I punched him in the head."