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Joke of the Day

"What does a miserable vegan eat? This pear. Thought of this horrible joke while eating a juicy ass pear!"

"How do you tell if someone is ticklish? Testicles."

"Make a sentence with the following words 'elephant' 'ant' 'ass' 'in' and 'bamboo' Ant in an elephant's ass"

"Relationships are like algebra You always look at your x and try to figure out y."

"When meeting someone, I walk calmly and slowly toward them while something explodes behind me, because first impressions are important."

"Jurassic Park- making you afraid of vibrating water since '93."

"Fun Game: 1. Be a couple without kids. 2. Hire a babysitter. 3. When they show up and ask where the kid is, scream, ""You lost it already?!?"""

"(sure hope reddit doesn't hate racist jokes) What's the difference between a Jew and a dollar? I'd miss six million dollars!"

"I left my girlfriend because her orgasms were too brief. I just could not accept her shortcomings."

"I tried running once. But I kept spilling my beer."