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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Mark Zuckerberg and the guy who played the blue Power Ranger are cousins? Just not to each other. But they are cousins."

"What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms? Whatever you want"

"To enjoy gossip you really need to have a sense of rumour."

"Talking about planets with my nephew. He asked if you could Plow thru Uranus because it's all gas"

"Oh my god, my jeans fit! All I have to do is not sit down, not walk, and not breathe. I totally got this."

"Brian Williams and Bill O'Reilly walk into a bar Or do they?"

"A cannibal and her daughter are eating dinner... ""Mommy! Mommy! I don't like daddy!"" ""Just eat your salad dear."""

"Why do babies have to cry? Why couldn't they like, glow, or beep rhythmically to get our attention? Shitty babies..."

"Back to Yo mama jokes Yo momma so fat kids had to run around her for track and field!"

"Yesterday my wife caught me checking out our hot new neighbor and all she had to say to me was, ""It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home""."