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Joke of the Day

"I don't believe in Santa I guess you could say I'm a rebel without a Claus."

"Women and not finding me attractive. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."

"*spin kicks cigarette out of your mouth* Nothing is cooler than health"

"I like my women like i like my coffee.. Ground up on the back of an alpaca somewhere in south america."

"If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes. Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving."

"Where do shapes go to pay for their crimes? A prism."

"A magnet walks into a bar...., what does he order? Nothing... he's still stuck to the entrance."

"What did one tree say to the other? Nothing. They bark."

"Thank you, iPhone predictive text, for sending my mother a message that said ""WOOOOFUCKYEAH!"" There's no joke here except I'm 30 & grounded."

"I kissed a girl in the club and she said, ""Oh my God, you've been smoking. It's just like licking an ashtray."" ""You non-smokers have some funny habits,"" I replied."