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Joke of the Day

"GF: What's my biggest flaw? ME: You haven't got any, you're perfect, I love you GF: No come on, I mean pacifically ME: We should split up"

"John was going through a rough time, he lost his job and couldn't pay rent. Everything was hopeless when suddenly, he remembered... mitochondria is the power house of the cell."

"What do cows do in traffic? They moove"

"Guy [beating me up for making a joke at an inappropriate time]: whos funny now you piece of shit Me: wait, you thought i was funny before?"

"Did you hear about a Russian-speaking Indian? He worships a moss cow"

"Why do people draw sunglasses on the sun? It's like, dude, he's the sun. They make sunglasses because of him."

"Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :("

"What do robots do at the rave? They torque."

"If you can think of a better fish pun Let minnow"

"What's the difference between menstrual fluid and sand? You can't gargle sand."