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Joke of the Day

"Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let's try to leave better kids for our planet."

"What's long, hard and has cum in it? A cucumber"

"How many children does it take to change a light bulb in America? About 1 thousand Iraqis."

"The closest I've come to a threesome is watching my wife and the nurse roll their eyes at the same time while I'm getting weighed."

"I knocked over a horny marine on the motorway the other day. I was driving on the hard soldier."

"My wife just emailed me asking if we had any moving boxes I told her no... All of our boxes are still. That's why we purchased them from a stationary store."

"It was a stormy night at work And thunder struck at the same time that the telephone rang. The Hash Slinging Slasher (this is no joke)"

"How do you know your daughter's a slut? Because you never kiss her goodnight."

"[goes back in time to murder baby Hitler] wow long line of people here to kill him [goes back to murder myself] how is this line even longer"

"Mormon cats have 9 wives."