215146

Joke of the Day

"My wife just emailed me asking if we had any moving boxes I told her no... All of our boxes are still. That's why we purchased them from a stationary store."

"My Grandmother always leaves long voicemails. Its 5 minutes of her talking and 10 minutes of her trying to hang up the phone."

"I want to open a donut shop called Hole Foods."

"Lost and Found I was reading the lost and found section of the paper and saw this: ""Found, one black boy's bicycle."" Wonder how they knew?"

"Had to remove the seconds hand from my watch.. was really starting to tick me off"

"What does a preverted frog say? Rubbit."

"I ate too much alphabet soup and became consonated. I was better after I evacuated my vowels."

"So I told my wife I ate a bunch of pineapple today ;-) But then as I came in her mouth, I said ""oh yeah, and a bunch of bacon too"""

"*spelling bee* Me: b-e-e Judge 1: No, sir, wait until we tell- Me: B-E-E Judge 2: I mean, he's not wrong"

"I don't know how to tell people this... But I want to be a translator."