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Joke of the Day

"I went to the local art museum, I really enjoyed it and took lots of pictures. But unfortunately I'm now banned until I bring them back."

"If you're ever bored in a taxi I recommend mouthing, ""Help Me"" to strangers and watching their facial expressions"

"A girl walks into McDonald's and she sees a cute cashier. She goes up to order and asks for a Hot 'n Spicy McDickin."

"Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? Because he was out standing in his field."

"The Dress Joke ""Did you hear about that blue and black dress?"" ""No, what about it?"" ""Turns out it was white and gold."" ""Oh thaaat one."""

"Why do Stasi officers make such good taxi drivers? You get in the car and they already know your name and where you live."

"xpost from /r/tellmeajoke TMAJ that includes ""shotgun"" and ""paring knife"""

"I barely slept last night; I kept dreaming about mufflers. I'm exhausted."

"I hate people with club feet... I'm lack toes intolerant."

"GOD: I call them Water Buffalo ANGEL: But they live on land GOD: Yep ANGEL: GOD: ANGEL: u really dont care anymore do u GOD: Not a bit"